Tesla Announces Model Y, Building the Car ‘Detroit is Afraid to Build’

Hawthorne, Calif.— In a bold move that’s sure to shock many, Tesla’s billionaire founder Elon Musk announced ambitious plans for the Model Y, an all-electric flying car expected to debut around this time next year. “When I was a boy, I was promised a flying car. We all were,” Musk said just hours after debuting the $35,000 Model 3 electric sedan. “Well, Tesla is making the flying car a reality. Life is too short not too build one.”

“We’re calling it Model Y because research has shown Gen Y hates cars but loves flying cars,” Musk said. “This is the flying car Detroit is afraid to build.”

If you’re worried about having to get a pilot’s license just to fly the kids down to soccer practice, don’t worry. “We realize most Americans don’t yet have their pilot’s license,” Musk said. “Why do you think we named our autonomous driving software Autopilot? From day one we’ve designed Autopilot to work with our all-electric, zero-emissions flying car. We will fly you.”

Tesla claims that the Model Y will be able to charge up at any Supercharger station. “Because of the Model Y’s vertical takeoff and landing capabilities, you can fly and charge at any of our more than 500 charging stations.” Musk said. “But of course you can also charge your flying car at home or at any outlet, though that will take significantly longer.” When asked how the cars will be able to take off and land at crowded Supercharger stations, Musk was quick to point to the reusable rocket technology his company SpaceX developed for its Falcon 9 rocket. “It’s basically the same crap,” Musk said.

Musk faced several tough questions from the assembled press, ranging from “Are you drunk?” to “What are you smoking?” to “Have you lost your mind?”

“When something is important enough,” he replied, “you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.” He then added, “And let’s not forget that the week I launched my all-electric faster-than-a-Ferrari $100K super sedan, I docked my rocket ship with the International Space Station. As my bae T-Swift says, ‘Haters gonna hate, hate, hate.’ ” With that, Musk dropped the mic and left the building.

 

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